When I was a little girl, one of my younger brothers and my favorite thing to do with our Dad was to go with him and watch as he removed beaver dams in streams and creeks on our family’s ranch. Joel and I would try to “help” by grabbing what branches and debris we could from standing in the shallow end of the dam while Dad would wade into the deeper waters to grab heavier logs. One time I miscalculated the drop-off from the shallow to the deep and found myself submerged in the beaver pond. 

It’s one of my most vivid memories, and even now, at 51 years old, I can still feel that sensation of drowning. I opened my eyes and saw a muddy opaqueness surrounding me; it felt to me (probably around seven at the time) that I had sunk to the bottom of an ocean. But suddenly, I saw my father’s legs (because, in reality, it was only a few feet), and then his hands reached down to grab me. 

I probably had a moment of panic, but I really don’t remember feeling that. What I do remember was the calm peace I had as my strong Daddy pulled me up out of the murky depths of the water and hugged me tight. 

This memory will always be an overall picture of my dad’s role in my life; Dad always made me feel safe and secure, and during seasons when I’ve felt like I’m drowning, the steady presence of my father has reassured and protected me.

As we get ready to celebrate our fathers, fathers-in-law, brothers, sons, and other father figures, I have taken some time to ponder how important fatherhood is – for our families, churches, communities, and even our nation. I am so concerned about the growing tendency in society to minimize and even criticize the vital role of fatherhood. 

Dad always made me feel safe and secure, and during seasons when I’ve felt like I’m drowning, the steady presence of my father has reassured and protected me.

We need fathers, and instead of looking at mainstream media, entertainment, or social media to tell us about their value in our lives, maybe we should look to what God tells us about the truth of fatherhood:

7 Truths About Fatherhood:

1 – A Father has Integrity

“The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him,” Proverbs 20:7 (NKJV)

God desires that integrity would be the mark of every father. Integrity is “The quality or state of being complete or undivided.” (Merriam-Webster). When we have the example of fathers who walk in integrity, living out what they believe and not fearing that a secret or lingering sin will be exposed, their children can live in safety and security, knowing they can trust their fathers. A father living with integrity won’t be double-minded or unstable (James 1:8), torn between God and the world. He will hold steadfast when troubles come because his trust in the Lord is firm. He will be a dad that is single-minded and confident in the promises of God, living a life of obedience and serving only “one master” (Matthew 6:24). This will serve as an example to his children of what faith, loyalty, and obedience looks like, showing them that authentic leadership is having integrity, practicing what you preach, and keeping your word to do what you say. 

2 –  A Father Teaches

“Hear,  O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching.” Proverbs 4:1-2 (ESV)

A good father takes part in and supports their child’s formal and informal learning. It takes time and intention, but it comes with a great reward. Taking every opportunity to pour lessons into their sons and daughters benefits their overall physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. To adequately teach their children, a father must also be willing to be taught himself. Knowing truth results from learning about what God’s word tells us. True wisdom comes from knowing sound doctrine, and this is the foundation on which all instruction is built. I don’t think we should ever minimize the incredible impact fathers have on their children’s lives when they take part in teaching and spiritual guidance.

3 – A Father Provides

“Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Fathe who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”  Matthew 7:9-11 (ESV)

A dad’s provision is a beautiful example for our children of how the heavenly Father always provides for us. It can be difficult for children to comprehend God’s providing grace in their lives without the picture of it in the home. Experiencing an earthly home where the father provides for their temporal needs points to a God in heaven who will provide for all of their needs, both on earth and in heaven. Children will learn that they can trust God to meet all their needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). A father will have an innate sense of providing what is best for his children. Yet, even with all of his flaws and failures resulting from sin’s corruption, he can point to a God that will always perfectly provide. A father who provides is an example of a Father who loves to shower us with provision, Who is never begrudging or stingy but is loving and understanding. “Every experience of the love and blessing of a home on earth can be a ladder by which to rise up and get nearer to the great Father-heart in heaven.” (Andrew Murray, How to Raise Your Children for Christ)

4 – A Father Disciplines and Corrects

“My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.” Proverbs 3:11-12 (NLT)

Discipline is never enjoyable to give or to receive. It can be downright painful, and yet, when correction is patient, loving, and consistent, it will yield the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it (Hebrews 12:11). Discipline is just another way for fathers to teach and instruct their children, preparing them to be live lives of discipline themselves! Discipline has a negative connotation when we see it practiced without love, but God is the example that fathers should look to in how to handle discipline in a way that benefits and doesn’t harm their children. They don’t punish to inflict pain or in an effort to get their children to “toe the line,” but discipline is given because of a father’s deep love for their child and concern for their development and well-being. For his children to grow into morally strong and righteous individuals, children need to learn the difference between right and wrong, and a godly father knows that loving discipline best equips his children to do this. A Christian father’s greatest desire should be for his children to conform to the likeness of Christ, and he must be willing to correct and reprove them to help them grow into His image.  

5 – A Father Protects

“In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence and his children have a refuge.” Proverbs 14:26 (HCSB)

A father serves as an example of what a healthy respect for God looks like. This respect is referred to as a “fear of the Lord,” and the purpose of that fear is for our protection. This fear produces honor, reverence, and a sense of awe toward God and moves earthly dads from self-confidence to a strong confidence in the Lord’s love and power. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; acquiring that wisdom is how a safe environment is created, away from the snares and attacks of the Enemy. A child will always be safest with a father who loves and fears God. Through the fear of the Lord, a man will find strong confidence and courage in protecting his family and providing direction to lead them on the right path. The best protection a father can give his family is to have a fear of the Lord that leads to knowledge (Proverbs 1:7), where he exchanges his own will, attitudes, feelings, plans, deeds, and desires for God’s. A child’s greatest refuge is in God, but a godly father who shows his children how to find that refuge is such a gift!

6 – A Father Loves

“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him…” Psalm 103:13 (NIV)

A child who knows that they are loved and adored by their father will develop into adults who develop healthy and positive relationships themselves. They will understand and then display a love that is strong, controlled and careful, tender and compassionate, protective and guiding, steadfast and always available. A father’s love will set them on a path that will reveal to his children where their true identity comes from and how to recognize God’s plans and purposes for their lives. The love of a father is the foundation of why he lives a life of integrity, is intentional about teaching his children, is committed to their discipline and correction, and is bold in protecting his family. He sees that his children are a heritage from the Lord (Psalm 27:3-5) and never takes his responsibility for them lightly. 

7 – A Father Leaves a Legacy

“Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.” Proverbs 17:6 (ESV)

Finally, men who exert a godly influence over their children’s lives will generate a mutual love and respect that will extend from generation to generation. A father’s decisions today will affect the lives of their children and grandchildren in the future, bringing either pain or glory. The Bible commands that we build a legacy of God’s desires and laws by committing to His commandments and living by them ourselves and then talking about this legacy, repeating it over and over again to our children (Deuteronomy 6:6-9). A father should encourage his children to live lives wholeheartedly devoted to God. A father has a distinct and vital role in building that legacy so that future generations will know and praise God for all He is and has done. A father who leaves a godly legacy to his children will far outweigh any other kind of worldly inheritance he could give them. 

Thank God for the fathers in our lives! We can honor and celebrate them, encourage and spur them on to live lives committed to the role and calling God has given them to be godly fathers and spiritual leaders in our homes.